by anglofille

After living in London for almost a year, it’s obvious to me that as an American, I smile more than most of the native population here. I’ve noticed this phenomenon when I’ve visited other European countries as well. In general, I think Americans smile more and are friendlier than their European cousins.  There are regional variations when it comes to American friendliness, to be sure.  People in the Northeastern are much less friendly than people from other parts of the country, but in general it’s safe to say that Americans are a rather friendly bunch.

On the issue of friendliness, an American expat in London wrote in the Guardian:

“In the UK overt displays of friendliness are taken as a sign of brain damage. This sounds horrible, but actually it's a fairly good rule of thumb. Try to match your moroseness to those around you. Occasionally you will run across that rare British person who is not just friendly but outgoing, helpful, charming and loquacious. He is a con man.”

This is obviously an exaggeration.  I have met plenty of friendly people in London.  Well, one or two.  (Only kidding!)  From my experience, taxi drivers are by far the friendliest people in London.  I’m not sure why this is, exactly.  Perhaps they’re bored.

I never thought of myself as a person who smiled a lot or who was overly-friendly until I came here, but people have commented on it, much to my surprise.  I think a great many people see the American habit of smiling and acting friendly towards strangers as being superficial.  The American phrase “Have a nice day!” is ridiculed around the globe.  I can understand why people think this kind of behaviour is insincere, but I don’t see it that way. 

While in some countries smiling almost always signifies genuine happiness or delight, Americans use smiling as a polite greeting or pleasantry in public.  (A word of warning to American women travelling abroad: Smiling at men from certain cultures can often lead them to assume you are hitting on them and want to sleep with them.  Walking around stone-faced has its advantages.)

I often complain about the embarrassing habits of Americans, but I miss overt signs of friendliness.  Even when I lived in New York, it was very common to chat with strangers while waiting at the bank or the post office.  People in London don’t really seem willing to strike up conversations with strangers at all.  When I first got here, I often found myself in need of assistance in public – for example, asking a person at the bus stop how much a ticket cost. And people were more than willing to provide me with this kind of information, but once they gave it to me, they sort of backed up and averted their eyes, as if to say – “I helped you, now please don’t talk to me anymore.”  I think Americans tend to interpret this kind of behaviour as coldness, when it’s just another way of being. No better, no worse, just different.  

Photo Credit: Kuzmitch